July 16, 2017, marks my third wedding anniversary. Love is in the air, with a pinch of marriage. Before it leaves a bad taste in your mouth/life, here are ten questions to ask yourself before marrying.
Would you marry yourself?
This is the most important question.
It’s so common for ladies that I know to feel like ‘oh when am I going to find the one’ when in honesty, you already found them - look inside yourself; are you who you want to marry?
A man isn’t supposed to complete you; you should already feel complete happiness within yourself. Unless the man is the type to take advantage, he will see that confidence in you.
Can you travel together?
As you may already know, I love going places. So, of course, this was something I asked my husband before marrying. But sometimes, it’s better done than said. This question may not need to be asked but can be answered by example, such as planning your first trip together.
We took our first trip to Dakar, Senegal together, which at that time, was only about a 10-hour ride from where we were in The Gambia. Then and there I was able to see for myself that he's not my ideal international travel partner.
Are you emotionally ready?
Marriage takes a toll on you emotionally more than you can even imagine.
So, if you are not ready to take on the many criticisms or firebacks or negative feedback, you may need to go through a few more life experiences on your own first before you end up marrying and taking it out on your significant other.
Is he close with his family?
This is a late bloomer for me because if h is close with his family, it gives you an idea of his value of relationships; additionally, if they aren’t so close, it may result in some red flags that you may need to keep your antler alerts up.
How does he handle stresses?
Each person uniquely handles stress differently; I can’t tell you how many times people have asked me why I don’t appear bothered in a stressful situation.
It’s for several reasons, one, mainly because I keep it in rather than exerting it out, but also, I’ve been many places seen many things and been through a lot, so the things that stress one person out, may not affect me that much.
One of the good things about marriage is having that person who handles things differently; where there are things so stressful that you just want to scream and cry, usually, the other person will be calm, cool and collected and can be that soothing medicine for you.
Can you agree on finances?
Okay, this is a tough one; even for me. Just like mentioned above, everyone is different as far as how to handle finances. I’m the saver until it’s time to spend and when I spend, I splurge; my husband is the prudent saver and will go a week without spending anything if it’s not needed.
But the thing is to know your financial personality so you can be able to discuss money maturely and not have serious marital problems down the line.
Are you patient?
This is a tough one because even before I got married, I thought I was a pretty patient person; others would agree. But boy oh boy is your personality tested in many other ways not imagined. But it is a good idea to keep that in the front of your mind.
Can you see yourself building with your partner?
This requires you foreseeing your future with them. This is quite easy to do for ladies, because we do that all the time, even with the wrong person, haha, but seriously think about all aspects. Maybe do a little research to see what I mean by building.
Does he see you together through better or worse? Or just better?
Going off of what has been mentioned above, this time it’s for your significant other. I’m not a mind reader, but from my understanding, when men choose their spouses, not all of them see it like us ladies see it in the movies like The Notebook: ‘ I chose you, all of you, the good times, the bad times, the ugly.' What they see is will you be there for them through the ups and downs, and if they can have a child with you, but not necessarily whether or not they can see themselves being there for you through the not so great times. If you’re a man reading this, feel free to chime in on this one in the comments if I'm wrong.
Can he cook?
I thought of this because I’m the type of girl that loves food; Having a man that can cook will swoon me over more than anything; more than flowers and more than the gift of travel because obviously, we need to eat more than we would travel. It’s tiring to have to cook all the time, so when the tasks are shared, what a blessing!
So, those are my most honest ten questions that you should ask yourself. What are some questions you would add?